I have not written for a long time. Life has been a roller-coster ride, most of the time going downhill.
It's nearly eight thirty in the morning and I haven't slept. I've just flown back from the UK yesterday given a day's notice. My old gal FiFi is not doing well. She had been vomiting and had not been eating or drinking for 2 days on the 27th when my mother called. Even before that, since coming back from boarding at my friend's house she hasn't been eating or drinking much. It's now March 1st and apart for the little food I had forced into her mouth, she has not eaten and I am afraid how this is affecting her liver. I took her to the vet on the 28th, ran a blood test yesterday morning and discovered that she has been infected with Feline Leukimia and on top of that she has a secondary infection and is in critical condition. He TP, BUN and CRE are really high, as is her white blood count. The Vet said she might not make it and even if she does make it, she may not live for very long because she is so old. Now I am just waiting for her to stablise so that we can run more tests.
I'm crushed. I cried all afternoon until I fell asleep. I cried again when the nurses wheeled my baby out with her IV fluids. I'm crying again as I am writing this. I am upset, angry, guilty, fustrated. Most of all, I am sad, very sad.I keep getting flashes of the past with my cat, how I found her in a paper box as a little kitten without her eyes open, how her pee seeped through the box and onto my school uniform after I had snuck her onto the bus, how I ran home from school everyday so that I could satisfy her hunger with the bottle, the time when she jumped onto the shelf while I was sleeping and knocked a heavy sand-filled bottle onto my head...she celebrated with me on my birthdays, she burned the mid-night oil with me throughout my A levels and Uni, she moped around with me during my breakups, moved houses with me, consoled me when my family had me down...
She is just a kitty, but she is a kitty that really loves me.
I don't understand, I took her to the vet on the 7th Feb, she had a blood test. Took her again on the 24th Feb. Nothing had been done. Why didn't the vet insist on the FeLV earlier? And why did the clinic keep changing vets, so that every visit is a different guy who didn't know the history? If something had been done earlier, she wouldn't be in the state she is now! My heart bleeds to see my baby in the kennel, as she looks at me with pain in her eyes as if she is saying "why are you doing this to me?"
All I can do is believe that she will get better and pray for her to fight for her life.
